Be vewy, vewy, quiet…and plug youw eaws.
Do you have a hunger for hasenpfeffer? Are your beagles bored due to the lack of bunnies in your backyard? Is Elmer Fudd your bunny-hunting hero? If you haven’t reached your fill of bunny hunting yet this season, have I got a deal for you.
First, book a ticket to Australia. Next, be sure to have lots of ammunition. Australia, specifically the southern sector, is in big trouble and it has bunnies written all over it. Apparently the South Australian Environment Department has issued a proclamation to “overcome the rabbit’s tremendous breeding potential” and they are serious. This government agency suggests that farmers use bulldozers, poison baits, fumigation, dogs and explosives. Did you hear that last statement? Yes, they mentioned explosives! That must be some bunny blowup; pardon the pun.
In all seriousness, biological attempts have failed so to curb the rabbit growth while scientists and biologists prepare a backup plan; it appears as if war has been declared on the Outback bunnies. This is a prime example of a non-native species being introduced into a region of ideal habitat and void of major predation. Without a check and balance system in play the bunnies have had the run of the hutch. They’re destroying plant life, altering the habitat and affecting every living thing in the region. It’s serious.
Yes, it is that bad. Of course you knew that when the words “bulldozer” and “explosives” are used in the suggested solutions to this problem. It’s a good thing Bugs Bunny doesn’t live Down Under because Elmer Fudd would have him in the pot pronto. Can you say “pass me the TNT please?”
Mark Kayser
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